Caught Sleeping at Your Desk…? Try this!

Have you ever felt so sleepy during your office hours that you had to sleep on your desk or fear that you might die sleepless?? Don’t worry… Just go ahead and sleep your way…. And, in case, you get caught sleeping, all you need to do is pick any of these lines and deliver it well. Let’s check out these lines… shall we?

10.”My doctor told me the prescription drugs can cause this to happen at odd hours but it is normal.”

9.”This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course HR had sent me to. It leads to creativity, you know!!”

8. “Boss accused me of day dreaming… so, as a challenge, I thought let me try to sleep and actually dream of something wonderful.”

7. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was restating our mission statement and visualizing our company’s progress!”

6. “This is the new Yoga therapy… it is somewhat like meditation!”

5. “Was I sleeping? Really… can’t believe it! Didn’t realize when that happened… The last thing I remember is I was writing this email to one of our difficult clients and could be… that time…”

4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out an excellent solution to our biggest problem. Now, I have to recall what that was!”

3. “Do not blame me… My cat taught me this trick…! So, you’ve got to blame the cat…! ”

2. “Someone from the 7th floor must have put a sleeping pill in my water bottle… you know how much those 7th floor executives hate us…!”

1. ” …..in God’s name, Amen.” (With God, it always works and God won’t mind surely!)

Sweet Dreams! 🙂

 

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Go Naked to Work!!

TEN GREAT REASONS TO GO TO OFFICE NAKED….!

LET’S BEGIN IN THE REVERSE ORDER –

10. No one will ever dare to steal your chair again… they would be scared that you might spread nakedness!

9. You can show off your new tan & that tattoo which was always hidden. In case, you are trying for a six packs or a flat tummy that also will show. You can use this opportunity to show-off your new sneakers/sandals as well!

8. This will divert the attention from the fact that you came to work late & drunk apart from over-shooting deadlines & pending jobs.

7. Now, you can actually declare that you are a member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) with all your sincerity & love for those naked animals.

6. You want to see how many will be inspired from you. This will test your popularity also.

5. It will stop those tech savvy IT guys/gals from looking down your blouse (or pants!).

4. “I’d love to contribute… but you know what, I left my wallet in my pants.” And, there is no question of lies here. It depicts your integrity levels and next time, people may forget to include you in fund-raising.

3. It’s a certain way to finally meet that ‘special’ person in the HR Department who by the way was not even aware of your existence (until now!).

2. You can take advantage of being photographed & pinned on the bulletin/notice boards. It is high time that others notice you & now the management can really consider you for the (much awaited) promotion.

And … this is it… the Number One reason to go to work naked:

1. Your boss will never say, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00 A.M. every morning!” ever again.

BONUS Reading:

Your Boss’s, management’s and HR’s  likely reactions to your coming naked to office –

a. If your Boss is a guy & u r also a guy then the Boss’s reaction is:

He will be jealous of your well maintained physique, toned muscles & your about to develop six packs. He will not fire you but you will definitely wish you were!!

b. If your Boss is a guy & u r a girl then his reaction is:

He will forget about all your mistakes, pending work, give you a good appraisal & then will tell you to join “Baywatch” and the like. Did you think he would actually admire you??? Maybe he will if he watches you in Baywatch. After all, he’s a man!

c. If your Boss is a lady & u r a guy then her reaction is:

She will observe everybody’s reactions & then ask you to give tips to her husband on how to be comfortable at being naked. If she’s unmarried, then well, she could play dirty with you provided you let her!

d. If your Boss is a lady & u r a girl then her reaction is:

First, she will compare her own body with yours. Then she will try to find out directly or indirectly what cosmetics & methods you use to maintain yourself. Next, she will consult with HR & see that you are fired on the basis that you used your charm to seduce male colleagues.

e. HR Department reactions:

They would feel that you have violated employee code of conduct & negatively affected the work environment. They would ask you to come for a discussion & check with you if you need any counseling support. All you have to do is –  ask them ‘where in the code of conduct manual is it written that an employee cannot come naked to office’ ? Of course, it wouldn’t be written explicitly anywhere.

If they negotiate with you on your pay or non-monetary benefits, take it as a positive step but stick to this one point – say, ‘you have not misused or broken any human rights or employee code’. Before the discussion ends, ensure that you have fixed the dinner date with that ‘special’ person.   

f. Management reaction:

Now that you put the management in a great dilemma, they wouldn’t respond to the situation immediately. After a week or so, you will certainly be called for a meeting and there, they would demand an explanation from you. You may not receive any memo or warnings, but then you have your trump card. There won’t be any meeting if you put a condition that you will attend this meeting posing ‘naked’ again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Humor can be sick but humor can relieve you from being sick… Keep Laughing and Have Fun! Thanks!

Better to Break or Bend?

Read the following proverbs:

‘A living dog is better than a dead lion.’

‘Better a live beggar than a dead king.’

‘The wind does not break a tree that can bend.’

‘Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.’

‘Be a free bird than a captive one waiting to be fed.’

‘If you are unbreakable, it doesn’t mean you have to bend.’

‘It is better to be killed than frightened to death.’     

 

Some convey a similar meaning (better to bend) while some others are contradictory (better to break).

Now, is it better to bend to circumstances OR better to break without giving in to any kind of situations?

 

Sometimes, we are caught in such moments where we may have to bend than risk breaking up… Sometimes, we allow ourselves to break than bend… We face and go through these happenings knowingly or unknowingly. However, the big question is, do we know when it is worth it?

 

As a parent, by breaking a rule, are we getting closer to our kids or making them move away from us? On the other hand, by bending down to their wishes, are we succumbing to the pressures of raising our kids in the manner which hampers their positive growth?

 

As a spouse, are we breaking our relationship by boosting our ego and not bending during an argument? Contrarily, are we allowing our spouse to dictate his/her terms and conditions on us by bending too much that it can destroy the relationship?

 

As a professional, are we blindly following what is told to us without questioning what, why and how of things…? Are we letting our higher-ups dominate us to the extent that we lose our individuality?

 

As a citizen, is it better that we bend to the unfair rules and corrupt systems or is it better we break down trying to change the system?

 

‘It was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.’

 

There is a limit to how much you can bend… there is a limit to how much you can break… more you bend, more is your chance for breaking… so, you need to rise soon after the moment you bend! And, if you break once, then it should take you minimal time and effort to gather and lift yourself again.

Learn about yourself because if you don’t, nobody will and nobody has to. You are the key. Each of us has our own boiling and melting points. Just know when you have reached there.

 

‘In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current’ – Thomas Jefferson

Don’t bend, Don’t break, Don’t back down… possible?

(You can also find this  blog of mine on http://www.speakingtree.in/80xy68b9z8na8zwlx9wwuvu4i/blogs)

Dare to Draw the Line!

‘Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go’ – T. S. Eliot

“WOULD YOU BE BETTER SAFE THAN BE SORRY OR WOULD YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR CHANCES…?”

‘A ship is safe in harbour but that’s not what ships are made for…!’ – John A Shedd

Let’s straight away get into the points –

If we don’t want to be outside at public places during weekends because we fear bombs blasting or terrorist strikes, are we ensuring our safety or have we lost our freedom?

Just because I am a woman, do I have to rush back home when the clock shows 22.30 hours so that I reach the safe haven of my home?

Did you feel your parents overprotected you because of which you never really ventured ‘out in the world’ freely? By the way, are you overprotecting your kids in anyway that they feel ‘safety is the best policy’ in their life?

You might think gambling is a risk, adventure sports is a risk, travelling on a long distance flight (or shorter flight) is a risk… Now, think again… Do you wear your seatbelts while driving the car? Do you put on your helmet while riding your bike? Do you follow the traffic rules (not just signals) or is it a risk worth taking by breaking the rules?

I know the deal with non-vegetarian and vegetarian food & lifestyles… the question is would you risk your health by over-stretching your body & mind leading to stressful conditions, sheltering negative thoughts, giving in to vicious addictions & endlessly worrying about future?

We don’t have to choose all of the risky rides of the world and be in total awe while taking chances…

‘The safest risk is the one you didn’t take’ – Anonymous

‘Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the ark; professionals built Titanic’ – Anonymous

We don’t have to choose all of the safety pins and be over-cautious each and every moment…

‘For safety is not a gadget but a state of mind’ – Eleanor Everet

‘You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward’ – James Thurber

Remember even safety pins can prick and sometimes taking risk is the safest choice you’ve got!

What we need to do is be in a positively active mode, raise awareness, get knowledgeable and learn to maintain composure within and on the outside. We must know when ‘taking risk’ is relevant and when ‘safety principles’ are applicable in our lives… We should learn to balance our lives by realizing when to switch on/off our attack mode and defend mode.

 There is a thin line between safety and risk and crossing it over can be a question of –

  • Life and Death
  • Profit and Loss
  • Success and Failure
  •  Love and Hate
  • Certainty and Unexpected                                                                                    
  • Comfort and Pain
  • Discovery and Mediocrity
  • Adventure and Boredom
  • Mistakes and Experience
  • Sense and Impulse
  • Wisdom and Foolishness
  • You and Me!

All we need to do is determine where we should draw that line…! That’s because what I perceive as to be a risky situation need not seem risky to you in anyways. Similarly, what you consider as a safe choices need not be the one I will choose necessarily. Ultimately, it is all about knowing Self and knowing WHERE and WHEN to DRAW the LINE!

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I… I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

(Original link to my blog – http://www.speakingtree.in/80xy68b9z8na8zwlx9wwuvu4i/blog/Dare-to-Draw-the-Line-atleast)