‘Been there, Done that’

Have you observed kittens? Have you observed cats? It doesn’t matter if you are an animal lover or not… it is just about observations! Okay… now you don’t need to lose your cool on this… Let me come straight to the agenda.

The point is I have observed kittens and cats; the fact is I am a cat lover. I like the animal and their demeanor. Mind you… when I say demeanor, it can as well be put in bold and in upper case. Let me tell you why.

Cats by nature are complicated creatures. They act as if they own this world and the people in it but still don’t give a damn about it. It is not as if they are detached from everything or are unaware about what’s happening around them; it is just that they know ‘everything’ and still wouldn’t care less about nothing.

Honestly, it wouldn’t be fair to them if I generalize and tell such stuff about them. That’s because each cat is unique and show different tendencies and behavior.

When it comes to kittens, they are the ones bursting with so much enthusiasm, playfulness and activity. They are into it till they finally have to sleep on it and once up, they are onto it again. Everything and everyone is subject to their scrutiny and curiosity. And, when a senior cat notices the frivolous things these kittens do, the clear indication the cat gives is that of, “Been there, done that!”

Let’s get to the questions:

  1. Why does the cat give ‘been there, done that’ impression? Can it not have a zestful life like a kitten? Is it that now the cat finds it as wasteful and uninteresting? Is there an age and time limit to do the kitten stuff?
  2. Now, let’s relate the topic to us… What are our limitations? If one is young at heart, does it mean he/she can do any frivolous activity disregarding the age? For instance, can a married guy do the same things that he did while he was a bachelor?

I am just asking… There must be a time, place and age for everything, is it not?

The flip-side of the Cat Theory:

When we were young, we might have missed on some things or we didn’t have certain things… so, now we want to go through that experience or enjoy those things? Why? Coz it is accessible but what about the age? Would it be appropriate? Maybe not… so, what we do? We try to impose or get it through our children…We make them want the things that we had wanted without caring much if the kids need it or not. “I have not been there… and have not done that… So, you do it… and let me help you do it…” This is the message most adults give to the younger generation.

But the cat… the cat doesn’t do that… the kittens have all the freedom and the cat observes without interfering much!!

You can learn more about cats here. Please click on the link below.

https://know2be.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/the-cat/

Caught Sleeping at Your Desk…? Try this!

Have you ever felt so sleepy during your office hours that you had to sleep on your desk or fear that you might die sleepless?? Don’t worry… Just go ahead and sleep your way…. And, in case, you get caught sleeping, all you need to do is pick any of these lines and deliver it well. Let’s check out these lines… shall we?

10.”My doctor told me the prescription drugs can cause this to happen at odd hours but it is normal.”

9.”This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course HR had sent me to. It leads to creativity, you know!!”

8. “Boss accused me of day dreaming… so, as a challenge, I thought let me try to sleep and actually dream of something wonderful.”

7. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was restating our mission statement and visualizing our company’s progress!”

6. “This is the new Yoga therapy… it is somewhat like meditation!”

5. “Was I sleeping? Really… can’t believe it! Didn’t realize when that happened… The last thing I remember is I was writing this email to one of our difficult clients and could be… that time…”

4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out an excellent solution to our biggest problem. Now, I have to recall what that was!”

3. “Do not blame me… My cat taught me this trick…! So, you’ve got to blame the cat…! ”

2. “Someone from the 7th floor must have put a sleeping pill in my water bottle… you know how much those 7th floor executives hate us…!”

1. ” …..in God’s name, Amen.” (With God, it always works and God won’t mind surely!)

Sweet Dreams! 🙂

 

What’s on your T-shirt?

Here’s a collection of T-shirt lines that can enhance your image [or spoil it]! You may have come across some of these while the rest should be really unique!

On the T-shirt (front):-

  1. Hell does not want me N I don’t want to be in heaven!
  2. Recession affects me also… I borrowed this one!
  3. I’m available… Conditions apply!
  4. I’m not totally useless… U can use me as a bad example.
  5. Take my advice… I am not using it anyways…!
  6. Take me… I’m easily recharged and affordable!
  7. As I said before, I do not REPEAT myself!
  8. At the end of the money, I have always some month left!!
  9. I started out with Nuthin… I still have most of it!
  10. My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems…!
  11. Boredom is a syndrome I get and tend to pass it on!
  12. Don’t come close… I spread!
  13. Come closer… (in big text) U have to anyways, to read this! (written in small text)
  14. What’s my problem? YOU!
  15. Oops! You did it again!
  16. I am Ok… don’t know about you!
  17. I am a perfect idiot atleast! (with a smiley)
  18. My ATM has a mobile number! But, Dad rarely picks my call.
  19. Marriages are made in heaven… who’s spreading this?
  20. My pet name is U FOOL!
  21. You get out of my way or I will… (with a big smiley)
  22. Hello! What’s your size?
  23. Lucky you… You would have had me!
  24. Money is not my choice… Lend me some!
  25. I am too clever for U, so don’t bother me!
  26. Bored with life? Try me!
  27. I am committed… I committed suicide once!
  28. Gravity is a state of mind… You do fall when you are OFF!
  29. I am what you were looking for!
  30. If I am nobody, I am perfect.
  31. AM I YOUR TYPE? I BELONG TO ANY TYPE.
  32. What makes you think I am insane? Tell  me soon or I will take off my clothes & dance naked.
  33. I don’t like girls… I don’t like boys also!
  34. I love myself… & I can’t take it anymore!
  35. Hey, we are living! There are no aliens!
  36. Someday I will get lucky… till then I will wait!
  37. How gay is me? I dated myself!
  38. Hey gorgeous! (in big text) I say that to myself! (in small text)
  39. I wish I was invisible… but no one sees me anyways!
  40. You’ve got Problems? I will give one too…! (with a devilish kind of smiley)
  41. You are an idiot… me too… lets party.
  42. What is your problem? Girlfriend or no girlfriend?
  43. Have fun… it is easy!
  44. I am smart, sexy & you need to pay the bill.
  45. I am single, available and lovable!
  46. What is your problem, you inscrutable, disgusting, insensitive beast!
  47. Nothing tastes like ice-cream… & I am nothing!!
  48. Sure, let’s make it happen tonite!
  49. I never said never in my life! That’s never my policy & never my line!
  50. Who said earth is round? We are all dizzy, u know?
  51. I am totally worth your Money!
  52. I don’t drink & drive… if it’s my car!!
  53. People are funny… they take this personally!
  54. Note: I could be sleep-walking!
  55. Dare to hate me! 
  56. Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency (with a half-empty beer glass picture).
  57. Tomorrow is a Future… Live now.
  58. Death is an experience… I died once!
  59. Alright, I am sorry!! UNF**K YOU!
  60. If I was a geek I would have done nothing to impress U!
  61. I am a MESS! (Mighty Enormous Super Size)
  62. I work hard, day & night to get lazy!
  63. I am bad, mad & sad… not necessarily in the same order.
  64. I am Lost! Find me!
  65. Am I your lucky sign!
  66. I took over Hell! Wanna come?
  67. Rule No. 1 – I have no rules!
  68. I don’t do married!
  69. Who cares for a, e, o… let’s focus on i and u…
  70. Forget it… Forget you read this!

More Love Quotes – all original

  1. There are no time limits for love and yet there is a time to love.
  2. Don’t fall in love, let love fall into you.
  3. True love has nothing to do with Truth!
  4. Love is complicated simplicity!
  5. Spare me or spare love!
  6. Love is free and yet you have to set free your love.
  7. Whoever said ‘love is blind’ surely didn’t look into it clearly.
  8. If it is worth it, it is love. If it isn’t worth it, it is still love.
  9. Love has no language… love is the language!
  10. Love hurts and you thought it was a funny feeling!
  11. When in love it is only heart… never mind!
  12. Love is not a relationship… it is a means to a relationship.
  13. People don’t fall in love because love is blind, but because they start walking on air instead of solid ground!
  14. Don’t treat love as a game… if you keep scores, then play scrabble where every word and letter counts.
  15. Only cupid strikes… but… not love… ever!

Rich, poor, middle

Here, I present my original collection of light humour based on the ‘society’ realities. I believe any humour has a sardonic touch of reality and facts in it.

 

Poor – make ends meet to manage a daily bread

Rich – throw parties to feed the other rich

Middle class – eat on the run!

 

Poor – wish for a television set

Rich – show-off their television screens

Middle class – don’t have time to watch TV!

 

Poor – look at a airplane amazed

Rich – live in amazing planes

Middle class – wait for the delayed plane!

 

Poor – have a humble holiday at home

Rich – have an exotic vacation abroad

Middle class – Thank God, there is a Sunday!

 

Poor – family comes first

Rich – I come first

Middle class – Boss comes first!

 

Poor – bear the adjustment

Rich – barely do the adjustment

Middle class – adjust!

 

Poor – save every penny

Rich – have Swiss accounts

Middle class – pay taxes and EMIs!

 

Poor – enjoy the sun and breeze

Rich – enjoy with the heater and cooler

Middle class – am I bothered about the temperature?!!

 

Poor – love don’t cost a thing

Rich – love every ‘thing’

Middle class – love is God, God help me!

Hope you liked it!

(You can find this blog at my blog site on The Speaking Tree at http://www.speakingtree.in/public/80xy68b9z8na8zwlx9wwuvu4i/blogs)

Is Grass greener on the other side? Could be!

In life, we often move along with certain notions and pre-determined mindsets. Let me test some of them here with a slight touch of logical humour –

  1. We know life isn’t a bed of roses and we also know roses have thorns but anyone thought how’s it for the thorns? It could easily be a bed of roses for them!
  2. If you can’t convince them confuse them. But, if you can’t confuse them shouldn’t you confirm it once and for all? Do it.
  3. Early bird gets the worm but worms couldn’t be sleeping or is it that they got up first? So, getting up early in the morning is a good habit but not if you are a worm!
  4. Only common people can say ‘common sense isn’t common’ and they know it better, no doubt! So, could I proclaim “‘Common Sense’ belongs to the extraordinary…”? I think I can!
  5. They say ‘forget the past… live in the present’ & they also say ‘learn from your mistakes’ but how will I know what mistakes I made if I have to forget the past? It’s apt to say let’s not forget our mistakes.
  6. ‘Never say never’ – this could be the most unintelligent phrase in English… after all, you just had to say it twice to convey the meaning! Besides, ‘never’ is a negative word even if used in positive context.
  7. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush but what’s wrong with having more than two especially when multitasking is the buzz word today? Just need to balance it right.
  8. Whoever said, ‘money can’t buy everything’ must have had lots of money or lots of everything! But it can also mean ‘everything isn’t for sale’ and ‘money is cheap’.
  9. ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet’ quoted William Shakespeare but interesting question is how do we know what we are referring to when we talk about the sweetness? And no way, names are just for namesake!
  10. Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. This is a popular nursery rhyme and the idea is to ‘row our life boats quietly and happily while living the dream!’ The question is figuring out whether it is really a stream, river or an ocean where we are rowing our boats.

‘Life is a mystery’ so, don’t worry if you get lost. We all are…!

Keep going though in search of your path and when you are sure you have found your path, keep rowing more!

The CAT

Compared to the dog lovers in this world, I know there are only as much takers for Cats. For me, I love cats and that doesn’t mean I hate dogs. Although I am neutral in my feelings towards dogs (excluding puppies… they are cute), I never ever can say that I have a neutral relationship towards cats. Besides, if you’ve got a cat, try being indifferent to them… they won’t let you! However, they have the birthright to be neutral towards you. And, you got to bear that kind of treatment.

Honestly, I have seen several kittens and cats in my neighborhood and other places. In fact, I had two cats in my home… and then four cats of my neighbors. I loved my tom cat… More specifically, I adore cats… these sweet creatures are simply irresistible. Without elaborating more, I would just like to mention the general tendencies of cats and this is based on my observations & being amongst them. So, let’s begin –

1)     You cannot place the cat under general category… coz each cat is unique & they have their own special and distinctive tendencies. They know that as well and you got to respect this principle.

2)     Like many people would agree, you don’t own the cat really. Yes, you never can be their master… you are their keeper. And, that in other words only means you are an employee who doesn’t get paid for your efforts in taking care of them. They think you owe it to them.

3)     When you love the cat, that love is unconditional for you. Not for the cat! They won’t promise you anything.

4)     You should respect the cat always. The minute you cross the line, you will immediately realise all this while, they pretended to respect you! And, that realisation my friend, hurts bad.

5)     The cat only has Rights… Most duties are delegated to you. And when I say Rights, they are –

  • Right to sleep anywhere and everywhere
  • Right to stare at anything and anyone for any length of time
  • Right to play with anything and everything including you
  • Right to disobey (and obey whenever they fancy)
  • Right to pretend
  • Right to ignore you
  • Right to feel highly intellectual (and mind you, most of them are!)
  • Right to love or hate milk
  • Right to know everything
  • Right to claim you and your home as theirs

6)     It doesn’t matter if you are tired, busy or occupied with something… when the cat demands attention, you better give it otherwise the next time, they won’t respond to your calls.

7)     Once in a while, the cat will give you undivided attention, care and total companionship… you will feel blessed! Actually, you should feel lucky… it means they have deeply thought about you sometime in the immediate past.   

8)     Never try to change the cat’s habits or routines. It won’t help you or the cat’s stubborn nature. It is much better to adapt your schedules and habits to theirs. This way, it is win-win situation.

9)     Admit it… the cat knows much more about what’s going around in your home and neighborhood. They also know more about you than you yourself. The plus point is they don’t care or boast of their knowledge.

10) Do you think cats are funny? Don’t! Cats believe in sophistication, mature thought processes and a certain level of insanity (which by the way you mistook as funny)

11) Never mind if the cat comes to you, sits on your lap, stares at you, cuddles you or allows you to cuddle… there is an intention and there is a motive. Yes, to love you also is a motive for them.

12) The litter box is yours… the cat only has a job to do in there.

13) Being lazy and sleeping throughout the day is only one of the cat’s activities. You have to think they put efforts into that.

14) For the cat, outside is a place for never ending curiosity. So, they keep exploring the unknown. Skip the panic if they don’t return for days. Besides, their curiosity levels need new dimensions.

15) The cat knows exactly what you speak to them, the tone in which you speak, your intentions & and your mood. Pity is you won’t know how they are taking it. Don’t be surprised if you get the silent treatment or they just keep staring at you.

16) Never fight with the cat or hit them. They may bear it but you risk losing your patience, energy and time. And, you must be aware that the cat has nine lives. The cat will not object to your show of little violence but beware… they are cats and they are naturally wild no matter how much you pet. You could easily find a dead rat or squirrel under your sofa or bed if not above it.

17)     Forget it… you will never win the staring contest with the cat. The cat is the master of staring game.

18)     If you know the cat’s weaknesses don’t ever use it against them. They will take it seriously and hate you for that. And trust me… you don’t want to be the object of the cat’s hatred. It would be much better if the cat ignored you.

19)     Do not curse or swear in front of the cat. No… please, don’t ask me why or why not… Just don’t do it ever.

20)     Of course, you can celebrate the cat’s birthday. However, the cat will not attach any importance to the occasion. The cat lives a year in every 24 hours. So, every moment is special occasion to the cat.

21)     Do not worry about the cat’s relations with other cats. They know the intricacies of relationships and its dimensions.

22)     The cat will have reservations about certain things. You got to know those things and value that. This is a sure way to win over the cat. Yes… they will observe your behavior towards it.

23)     The cat rarely gets sentimental. But, they will have mood swings and it can be based on anything and anyone such as the weather or the texture of your bedspread or your neighbor’s little girl or the maid or it maybe simply you and your voice!   

24)     The cat loves cleanliness and so don’t get duped with the mess made by the cat. It is just to test you and you pass the test when you clean the mess up. Simple, isn’t it?

25)     Love the cat with all your heart but set the cat free. If your love is true, the cat will come back to you. If it isn’t, hopefully the cat wouldn’t mind it.

Meaaoooww always!

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