Caught Sleeping at Your Desk…? Try this!

Have you ever felt so sleepy during your office hours that you had to sleep on your desk or fear that you might die sleepless?? Don’t worry… Just go ahead and sleep your way…. And, in case, you get caught sleeping, all you need to do is pick any of these lines and deliver it well. Let’s check out these lines… shall we?

10.”My doctor told me the prescription drugs can cause this to happen at odd hours but it is normal.”

9.”This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course HR had sent me to. It leads to creativity, you know!!”

8. “Boss accused me of day dreaming… so, as a challenge, I thought let me try to sleep and actually dream of something wonderful.”

7. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was restating our mission statement and visualizing our company’s progress!”

6. “This is the new Yoga therapy… it is somewhat like meditation!”

5. “Was I sleeping? Really… can’t believe it! Didn’t realize when that happened… The last thing I remember is I was writing this email to one of our difficult clients and could be… that time…”

4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out an excellent solution to our biggest problem. Now, I have to recall what that was!”

3. “Do not blame me… My cat taught me this trick…! So, you’ve got to blame the cat…! ”

2. “Someone from the 7th floor must have put a sleeping pill in my water bottle… you know how much those 7th floor executives hate us…!”

1. ” …..in God’s name, Amen.” (With God, it always works and God won’t mind surely!)

Sweet Dreams! 🙂

 

What’s on your T-shirt?

Here’s a collection of T-shirt lines that can enhance your image [or spoil it]! You may have come across some of these while the rest should be really unique!

On the T-shirt (front):-

  1. Hell does not want me N I don’t want to be in heaven!
  2. Recession affects me also… I borrowed this one!
  3. I’m available… Conditions apply!
  4. I’m not totally useless… U can use me as a bad example.
  5. Take my advice… I am not using it anyways…!
  6. Take me… I’m easily recharged and affordable!
  7. As I said before, I do not REPEAT myself!
  8. At the end of the money, I have always some month left!!
  9. I started out with Nuthin… I still have most of it!
  10. My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems…!
  11. Boredom is a syndrome I get and tend to pass it on!
  12. Don’t come close… I spread!
  13. Come closer… (in big text) U have to anyways, to read this! (written in small text)
  14. What’s my problem? YOU!
  15. Oops! You did it again!
  16. I am Ok… don’t know about you!
  17. I am a perfect idiot atleast! (with a smiley)
  18. My ATM has a mobile number! But, Dad rarely picks my call.
  19. Marriages are made in heaven… who’s spreading this?
  20. My pet name is U FOOL!
  21. You get out of my way or I will… (with a big smiley)
  22. Hello! What’s your size?
  23. Lucky you… You would have had me!
  24. Money is not my choice… Lend me some!
  25. I am too clever for U, so don’t bother me!
  26. Bored with life? Try me!
  27. I am committed… I committed suicide once!
  28. Gravity is a state of mind… You do fall when you are OFF!
  29. I am what you were looking for!
  30. If I am nobody, I am perfect.
  31. AM I YOUR TYPE? I BELONG TO ANY TYPE.
  32. What makes you think I am insane? Tell  me soon or I will take off my clothes & dance naked.
  33. I don’t like girls… I don’t like boys also!
  34. I love myself… & I can’t take it anymore!
  35. Hey, we are living! There are no aliens!
  36. Someday I will get lucky… till then I will wait!
  37. How gay is me? I dated myself!
  38. Hey gorgeous! (in big text) I say that to myself! (in small text)
  39. I wish I was invisible… but no one sees me anyways!
  40. You’ve got Problems? I will give one too…! (with a devilish kind of smiley)
  41. You are an idiot… me too… lets party.
  42. What is your problem? Girlfriend or no girlfriend?
  43. Have fun… it is easy!
  44. I am smart, sexy & you need to pay the bill.
  45. I am single, available and lovable!
  46. What is your problem, you inscrutable, disgusting, insensitive beast!
  47. Nothing tastes like ice-cream… & I am nothing!!
  48. Sure, let’s make it happen tonite!
  49. I never said never in my life! That’s never my policy & never my line!
  50. Who said earth is round? We are all dizzy, u know?
  51. I am totally worth your Money!
  52. I don’t drink & drive… if it’s my car!!
  53. People are funny… they take this personally!
  54. Note: I could be sleep-walking!
  55. Dare to hate me! 
  56. Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency (with a half-empty beer glass picture).
  57. Tomorrow is a Future… Live now.
  58. Death is an experience… I died once!
  59. Alright, I am sorry!! UNF**K YOU!
  60. If I was a geek I would have done nothing to impress U!
  61. I am a MESS! (Mighty Enormous Super Size)
  62. I work hard, day & night to get lazy!
  63. I am bad, mad & sad… not necessarily in the same order.
  64. I am Lost! Find me!
  65. Am I your lucky sign!
  66. I took over Hell! Wanna come?
  67. Rule No. 1 – I have no rules!
  68. I don’t do married!
  69. Who cares for a, e, o… let’s focus on i and u…
  70. Forget it… Forget you read this!

Go Naked to Work!!

TEN GREAT REASONS TO GO TO OFFICE NAKED….!

LET’S BEGIN IN THE REVERSE ORDER –

10. No one will ever dare to steal your chair again… they would be scared that you might spread nakedness!

9. You can show off your new tan & that tattoo which was always hidden. In case, you are trying for a six packs or a flat tummy that also will show. You can use this opportunity to show-off your new sneakers/sandals as well!

8. This will divert the attention from the fact that you came to work late & drunk apart from over-shooting deadlines & pending jobs.

7. Now, you can actually declare that you are a member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) with all your sincerity & love for those naked animals.

6. You want to see how many will be inspired from you. This will test your popularity also.

5. It will stop those tech savvy IT guys/gals from looking down your blouse (or pants!).

4. “I’d love to contribute… but you know what, I left my wallet in my pants.” And, there is no question of lies here. It depicts your integrity levels and next time, people may forget to include you in fund-raising.

3. It’s a certain way to finally meet that ‘special’ person in the HR Department who by the way was not even aware of your existence (until now!).

2. You can take advantage of being photographed & pinned on the bulletin/notice boards. It is high time that others notice you & now the management can really consider you for the (much awaited) promotion.

And … this is it… the Number One reason to go to work naked:

1. Your boss will never say, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00 A.M. every morning!” ever again.

BONUS Reading:

Your Boss’s, management’s and HR’s  likely reactions to your coming naked to office –

a. If your Boss is a guy & u r also a guy then the Boss’s reaction is:

He will be jealous of your well maintained physique, toned muscles & your about to develop six packs. He will not fire you but you will definitely wish you were!!

b. If your Boss is a guy & u r a girl then his reaction is:

He will forget about all your mistakes, pending work, give you a good appraisal & then will tell you to join “Baywatch” and the like. Did you think he would actually admire you??? Maybe he will if he watches you in Baywatch. After all, he’s a man!

c. If your Boss is a lady & u r a guy then her reaction is:

She will observe everybody’s reactions & then ask you to give tips to her husband on how to be comfortable at being naked. If she’s unmarried, then well, she could play dirty with you provided you let her!

d. If your Boss is a lady & u r a girl then her reaction is:

First, she will compare her own body with yours. Then she will try to find out directly or indirectly what cosmetics & methods you use to maintain yourself. Next, she will consult with HR & see that you are fired on the basis that you used your charm to seduce male colleagues.

e. HR Department reactions:

They would feel that you have violated employee code of conduct & negatively affected the work environment. They would ask you to come for a discussion & check with you if you need any counseling support. All you have to do is –  ask them ‘where in the code of conduct manual is it written that an employee cannot come naked to office’ ? Of course, it wouldn’t be written explicitly anywhere.

If they negotiate with you on your pay or non-monetary benefits, take it as a positive step but stick to this one point – say, ‘you have not misused or broken any human rights or employee code’. Before the discussion ends, ensure that you have fixed the dinner date with that ‘special’ person.   

f. Management reaction:

Now that you put the management in a great dilemma, they wouldn’t respond to the situation immediately. After a week or so, you will certainly be called for a meeting and there, they would demand an explanation from you. You may not receive any memo or warnings, but then you have your trump card. There won’t be any meeting if you put a condition that you will attend this meeting posing ‘naked’ again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Humor can be sick but humor can relieve you from being sick… Keep Laughing and Have Fun! Thanks!